10 things NOT to Say To Your LGBTQ Child

When LGBTQ youth experience rejection from their family and friends because of their sexual identity, they have an increase risk of depression, anxiety, suicide and substance abuse. The Trevor Project produces an annual survey of LGBTQ youth and their 2021 survey showed that 42% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.

LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning.

You as a parent or loved one, want to be an ally not an adversary.
Here are 10 rejecting behaviors or things that you can say that increase your child’s risk of serious mental health problems.
1. Tell your LGBTQ child it’s just a phase
2. Allow family friends and relatives to talk negatively about LGBTQ around your child.
3. Tell your child to tone down how they look or act.
4. Prevent your child from having an LGBTQ friend.
5. Tell your child they need to get right with God or take them to religious leaders to have them pray to change your child.
6. Try to hit, slap or rough up your child to beat it out of them.
7. Prohibit your child from wearing things that express their gender diversity.
8. Not use the name or pronoun that matches your child’s gender identity.
9. Tell your child they can’t talk about that LGBTQ stuff around you.
10. Exclude your LGBTQ child from family events and activities

Here are 7 Examples of accepting behaviors that increase your child’s self-esteem and mental wellbeing.
1. Ask your child how and when you can help them tell others about their identity
2. Get accurate information to educate yourself about your child’s gender expression
3. Speak openly about your child’s LGBTQ expression
4. Require other family members to treat your child with respect
5. Use your child’s chosen name and the pronoun that matches their identity
6. Believe your child can be a happy adult and tell them they will have a good life.
7. Talk to your child about their identity and listen respectfully.

References
Ryan C, Huebner D, Diaz RM, Sanchez J. Family rejection as a predictor of negative health outcomes in white and Latino lesbian, gay, and bisexual young adults. Pediatrics. 2009;123(1): 346-352.
TheTrevorProject.org and FamilyProject.sfsu.edu

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