ADHD and relationships issues: 11 tips to fix them. When you look at ADHD and marriage and ADHD and dating problems, you see that the disorder can cause many problems on both sides. Many of the problems stem from ADHD and forgetfulness, and your partner’s reaction to the forgetfulness.
To see what kind of impact your ADHD is having on relationships here’s a series of 10 situations that are pretty typical when one person has ADHD.
1. My partner says that I zone out instead of listening.
2. I forget the things I agreed to do.
3. My partner complains that I never finish what I start.
4. We argue about how I spend money or pay bills.
5. My partner says I can’t be trusted to do what I say.
6. The clutter in my office/shop/garage is a point of contention for us.
7. We fight about my being late or losing track of time.
8. My partner nags me a lot.
9. I often wait until the last minute to get things done, which causes problems for us.
10. I lose my temper when we argue.
How do you fare? Or are you on the receiving end of some of this stuff.
For the person who does not have ADD and you’re in a relationship, dealing with these issues can be very difficult and frustrating.
If you are a parent who has ADHD, your inattentiveness or forgetfulness can be hard for your children to understand. Your child may think you don’t care. And that’s the impression that they’re left with because; people with ADD can appear to be aloof. And this comes from not always clicking in and being involved in the moment.
Here are six tips for the partner with ADD and five for the person without.
First for the Partner with ADHD:
1. if your relationship problems seem to be caused by your ADD, recognize that you have the disorder and it can be helped.
2. Use alarms and reminders on your phone or calendar for medication and appointments,
3. Take medication on the weekends if you’re having these problems on the weekends.
4. The best way to prevent nagging, is to follow through.
5. When your partner is talking, try to make sure you listen all the way to the end of their sentence and thought.
6. Create time buffers.
Impatience is a feature of ADHD. Often a person with ADD would rather walk into an event late, than arrive early and have all this idle time to waste. So if the idea of wasting time being early sounds painful, plan
to take something with you to keep you occupied.
For the Partner without ADHD I have 5 tips:
1. The first thing to establish is recognizing that your partner’s brain is wired differently..
2. That said don’t get into a cycle of relating to your partner as a parent instead of a partner.
3. If you need a task completed by a specific time, write it down – be specific. you will probably need to anticipate consequences for them.
4. Try asking for what you want instead of telling.
There is always the option of getting professional help. Having a professional, independent person help you navigate through some of the issues can really strengthen your relationship.
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